Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The poll

Although the city of Kingston is conducting a
poll to gauge what the public thinks should be done at the Uptown parking garage site, I've decided to make a more comprehensive one:

Click on the unclickable links to see the results and don't mail them to me.

1. Does the present availability of parking have bearing on whether you shop in Uptown Kingston?

A. What kind of silly question is this?
B. No, really, what kind of silly question is this?

2. What do you like about other parking facilities you have accessed recently? Check all that apply

A. I can park.
B. Chunks of concrete don't dangle like Michael Jackson's baby.
C. My car doesn't get keyed.

3. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

A. What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

4. Do you have car insurance?

A. Car?
B. Insurance?
C. Does it count if I haven't paid it?

Architectural Elements:

1. Is it necessary for the garage to be structurally sound?

A. What was up with that swallow question?
B. Do you have a quarter?

2. Should there be an additional buffer zone of some specific distance around the perimeter of the Stockade Historic District where height should also be limited? And do you support the inclusion of a mixed income housing project to afford opportunities for a cross-section of residential, mixed use/mixed income opportunities with a set aside for affordable housing integrated throughout the building? And would you support the offer of a Payment In Lieu Of Taxes (PILOT) program, or any other incentives that may be available, if necessary to attract a qualified developer?

A. What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
B. All of the above.

Financial Considerations:

1. Should we pay for this thing?

A. Yes
B. Yes.

2. Really?

A. Yes.
B. Yes.

3. C'mon!

A. That's not a question.
B. Yes.

Potential Site Amenities:

1. What type of additional amenities, above and beyond what presently exists, would you like to see integrated into the Kingston Uptown Business District? Check all that apply

A. Disneyland
B. Strip club
C. Parking garage with parking spaces

2. Would you support creating and maintaining a significant public open space along North Front Street to allow for outdoor gathering?

A. Creating but not maintaining
B. As long as the public open space is not open to the public
C. Only if it is the "Gathering of the Vibes" or "Magic: The Gathering"

Housing Opportunities:

1. What type of housing ... are you really buying into this?

A. Not a chance.
B. Who do I make the check out to?

Historic/Cultural Resources:

1. Are you aware that the historic character and the official designation as a National Historic District increase the value of properties in the Stockade District?

A. I'm aware this question seems loaded.
B. Great. Now I really can't pay my mortgage.

Community Character:

1. Does the community have character?

A. Community?
B. Character?
C. Can't you just let me park my car, please?

2. What characteristics or amenities do you feel are most appealing about the Uptown District? Check all that apply

A. I see dead people
B. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
C. R-o-s-e-b-u-d.

Alternative Solutions:

1. Do we really have to have alternative solutions?

A. Alternatively
B. Well, I think ...

2. You talkin' to me?